XXX: The Return Of Xander Cage

Stupid film, with stupid acting and a stupid script.

XXX: The Return Of Xander Cage (or XXX: TROXC for short) tracks the titular character and his own team of warriors as they search for ‘Pandora’s Box’, a device known to be downing satellites across the Earth.

That last paragraph made it sound far more interesting than it is. The film is 106 minutes of absolute garbage. Xander makes sure that the team around him is the three people he trusts and needs most. A stealthy assassin: okay. A stunt driver: sound. A DJ: please help me. Then again, this specific DJ has a special skill. He’s “fun to be around.” Couldn’t make this stuff up.

XXX: TROXC does not have one redeeming feature. It is littered with continuity errors and dodgy directional choices. The script is obvious, downright cliched and focuses wholly on making Vin Diesel seem like some sort of legendary God. There’s a moment where one character says to Vin Diesel “You’ve asked the wrong question.” VD didn’t even ask a question, he made a statement. The whole effort just comes across as unprofessional and unimpressive. A much more appropriate title would be VVV: The Return Of Vin Diesel’s Ego Strokers.483829-xander-cage

It says a lot then the leading man can’t hold his own acting opposite former NFL tight end Tony Gonzalez. There isn’t a single performance with any credibility in the film. Even Toni Collette can’t shine through the grime that XXX: TROXC excretes from its shamefully appalling performances.

Stupid film, with stupid acting and a stupid script.

P.S. There is a scene early on in where Vin Diesel travels down a mountain on a skateboard to bring the people of Brazil television for free, and he does it! Nips there just in time. They turn the TV on and its just kicking off! Brazil V Germany at the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Perhaps Brazil’s most devastating moment in their complete sporting history.

1/5

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s